There are challenges galore! There are a million little reasons to throw up your hands and say, "I'm staying home until they are older!" If you have multiple little children, are a single parent, or have any health or developmental challenges in your family, those reasons for staying home can really seem convincing.
But, here's the thing: Jesus is there. He is there in the Blessed Sacrament (Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity). The Eucharist is the source and summit of our Faith! He is also present in the Congregation--another very real form of the Body of Christ. And let me tell you, as a mother of nine, if we are going to make it through this parenting thing with our hearts and minds intact, we need all the Jesus we can get!
Here's a few tips on how you can survive weekly Mass and actually enjoy it! Once you find your groove, maybe even daily Mass could be in your and your little one's future!
1. Have realistic expectations. Your little one(s) is learning and often learning by doing. And by doing there is some trial and error going on. He or she will not behave like a perfect altar boy yet. It will take time. Keep your expectations manageable. It will then be less frustrating and more amusing when your four year old tries to high five the priest when you drag him forward during Communion.
2. Prep! So, plan to arrive a tad early. On the way talk about what to look for in the Mass, name the priest saying Mass that day and pray for him, talk about visiting the grotto or Mary statue, talk about the Holy Water font and about how blessing yourself with Holy Water reminds us of our baptism. Tell your kids that you are going to ask them when you are back in the car for one thing that really stood out to them in the Homily or Liturgy. When you get to Church use the bathroom, get a tissue for your pocket, collect the things you need ahead of time. I guarantee the priest would rather see a line for the bathroom before Mass rather than during!
3. Sit closer to the front (but know your escape route). I know the tendency is for us to sit close to the back so that we can make a hasty exit in case of bad (or really just distracting behavior). But a priest told me once to sit closer to the front with my littles and despite my skepticism, he was right! Up front they can see what is going on, take in more of the Mass, and see more of the art. They actually behave better when they feel more a part of things and not hiding behind all the taller and bigger and "more important" people. Jesus said, "Let the little children come." So, bring them close to the altar.
4. For very little ones, something quiet to occupy their hands can be helpful. Like a coloring book, child's missal, or soft toy. But, here's the key--don't give it to them at the beginning of Mass. If they can be active (standing, making the sign of the cross, watching the processional, etc.) let them be active. I try to save the stuff to do for the Homily. For the older ones who are learning to read, help them follow along in the missal or pew card.
5. It's OK to whisper what is going on. For example when the priest elevates the host, I usually lean down to my little ones and say, "Remember? 'My Lord and My God.'" And when the priest proclaims, "Behold the Lamb of God!" and shows us Jesus, I whisper to the kids, "Jesus is here! Tell Him that you love Him!"
6. Respect the spaces in the Church. Little ones can actually be quite reverent when they know that Jesus is present in the Tabernacle, so we should avoid running around and using outside voices. They can learn by our example to speak in low voices, being respectful of others praying, making the Sign of the Cross, genuflecting, etc. Lead them to awe but your own sense of reverence.
7. Follow-up! When you are back in the car or walking home, ask the kids what they remember or what touched their hearts in the Homily or Liturgy. Encourage their conversations of the faith. And make sure Mom and Dad take a turn too! Tell your kids something you loved about the Mass that day. In this way you will teach them to engage in the Mass and not just be a spectator.
And one tip for others without little ones:
If you are out of the stage of life where you are corralling tiny people during Mass or if you are a single person with a healthy dose of empathy and you see a frazzled parent outnumbered by his/her children, feel free to offer help! An extra adult who can lovingly help is often a godsend. At the very least offer a word of encouragement. You have no idea how beautiful it is when someone says, "Hang in there mama! You are doing a good job!" or "This season will be over soon. Don't lose heart." or "We are so glad to see a young family here! Please always sit near us." It is encouraging words like this and the people who utter them that carry us through the trying Sundays when we wonder whether we should have kept our dysfunction at home. Please, be an encourager. The world already has plenty of critics.
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